Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Melancholy and Infinite Sadness

Dah lama sangat aku tak rasa perasaan sedih macam ni. Sepanjang hidup aku ni boleh kira berapa kali aku berasa down and demoralised macam ni. Tapi kejadian semalam membuat perasaan aku bercampur-campur - marah, geram, frust, sedih, rasa nak tumbuk orang, lemah......tapi pagi ni bila aku dengar lagu ni, aku rasa semangat yang baru. I cannot change the situation, i might as well live with it and adjust mana yang boleh walaupun hati ini berkata tidak dengan permainan catur 'boss' aku tu. Sabar dan tawakal semoga aku berjaya keluar dari belenggu lagu Smashing Pumpkin ni memang antara lagu favourite aku masa belajar di PPP/ITM dulu. Kalau jamming or ada show ke - lagu ni, lagu weezer memang favourite la. Seronok bila kenang2 zaman student dulu, walaupun tak berduit macam bekerja ni tapi i'm happy, enjoy sangat walaupun banyak pengalaman pahit dan manis masa student dulu.

Tonight, Tonight

Time is never time at all
You can never ever leave without leaving a piece of youth
And our lives are forever changed
We will never be the same
The more you change the less you feel

Believe, believe in me, believe
Believe that life can change
That you're not stuck in vain
Were not the same, were different tonight
Tonight, so bright

And you know you're never sure
But you're sure you could be right
If you held yourself up to the light
And the embers never fade in your city by the lake
The place where you were born

Believe, believe in me, believe
Believe in the resolute urgency of now
And if you believe there's not a chance tonight
Tonight, so bright

Well crucify the insincere tonight
Well make things right, well feel it all tonight
Well find a way to offer up the night tonight
The indescribable moments of your life tonight
The impossible is possible tonight
Believe in me as I believe in you, tonight


Akira said...

Hi....sounds like you had a really bad day at work. Guess I know how it feels.... Going through rough patches in life will make you stronger, so hang in there!!

payjal said...

Actually this is a case of unfulfilled promise. The management promise me that i can go by the end of July. Instead the bloody dato' said i can only go after one of my colleague come back after DPA. 7 more months!!!!What??? Luckily after lenghty discussion, he give me anoher option. I can go only if i can find another officer as a replacement+ on the job training for him/her...:(

Akira said...'re not alone..I mean just look at us...we are still HERE in this ministry but thank god I'm in another division now..anyway this organisation is going through a major revamp(stress!) \\(^o^)// well, we can only hope that it's for the better..where do you wanna go actually? To wait for another 7 months is quite tormenting, but maybe some of our friends already approached you to swap

payjal said...

I don't mind if i'm in a ministry because there are many posts that can be choose from rather than being here, trapped in a closed,routine environment.Aghhh. Actually i really wanna go to KBS and i'm trying hard to find a replacement (there are 3 candidates now) and proceed with the necessary procedure, hopefully.....

Anonymous said...

dulu u belajar kt PPP/itm amik cos apa? a-level?adp? jgn kata cos-metik dah la ye :)

payjal said...

I kat ausmat dulu section 2, 96/97 supposed fly to Australia 98, JPA tak bagi bertapa kat UKM 3

Anonymous said...

we are in the same boat fren.. but i did a-levels.. anyway buat kat mesia pun boleh lulus dgn cemerlang jugak kan?

*bila la nak dapat peluang g jenjalan obesi....huhu...